Only in California

In typical California fashion, we just had a 5.8 earthquake centered not too far from where we live. It was a pretty good dirt mover, but the worst thing that happened is a frig magnet fell off the fridge door. That magnet always was weak.

The news stations are taking calls from viewers: “Where were you when the quake hit?” These questions are the main banquet of TV news, and they search far and wide to find “the horror.”

There’s Bertha Bumgardner looking for her three minutes of fame: “Well, I was walking down the hallway, and I thought I had an inner ear problem ‘cos I started to sway. My wind chimes were ringing.”

“Did anything break?” asks the hopeful studio hair-do.

“No, no,” sez Bertha. “Just stuff moving around a little bit.”

This is driving the newsies crazy. They’re looking for blood and guts, and it’s getting downright embarrassing to hear interview after interview telling how little more happened than dogs barked and plants took a little sashay across the bookshelves. Oh! Oh! A report just came in – and I do think I see the newsie smiling – there was a report of a broken window. The humanity.

This silliness should last all day. Meanwhile, I’m going to pull out a beer and wait for the aftershocks.

*Reiki hugs = 20 (because California could really use a good zapping)