Cell phone fun with Dick and Jane

Heard in a creative meeting between agent, author, myself, and publicist:

“Yo, sexymama, answer yo phone!”

It’s a cell phone ringtone. The sound is emanating from our table. I’m laughing to myself, grateful that I have a sensible ringtone that tells the world I’m a professional.

“Yo, sexymama, answer yo phone!”

Good god, there it is again. Probably the publicist’s. Why doesn’t she answer the darn thing? Has she no idea how unprofessional that is?

“Yo, sexymama, answer yo phone!”

Oh for the love of all that’s holy…wait…everyone is looking at me. Ohdeargodinheaven. The noise is coming from my purse. The voice belongs to hubby. He…he…recorded his voice and switched my ringtone. When did he do this?? WHY would he do this? Is he bored? Sick? Twisted?

He.Will.Die.

Later that night:

I fumed as he stood there laughing his fool head off. “Whyonearthdidyouthinkthatwasfunny? I was in a meeting!”

He hugged me and insisted he was just goofing around.

I.Will.Have.Revenge.

Hubby has a meeting today. I can’t wait. It’s a meeting with lots of important people. They’re French. The ringtone?

“Hey, sexybuns, that a phone in your pocket or you just happy to see me?”

You’ll have to excuse me; I have a call to make.